Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Monday, October 29, 2012
No, I didn't write it. I stole it from a blog, but I LOVE it!
No one can tear you down, unless you give them power over you to do so.
No one can hurt you, unless you let them.
No one can deflate you, without your permission.
No one can tell your truth, without your okay.
No one can make you angry, unless you give them that ability.
No one can define you, without your authority.
And likewise, no one can inspire you, inflate you, teach you, encourage you or motivate you unless you bestow upon them that power.
Doesn’t it sting, a bit, knowing that all the pain and all the suffering you ever caused yourself was self-inflicted? Of course, you’re causing that sting, too. Maybe you had to experience the pain and suffering to get to where you are today.
If someone gives you a gift of their anger, you don’t have to accept it. They can keep it. And they will own it, not you.
No one can hurt you, unless you let them.
No one can deflate you, without your permission.
No one can tell your truth, without your okay.
No one can make you angry, unless you give them that ability.
No one can define you, without your authority.
And likewise, no one can inspire you, inflate you, teach you, encourage you or motivate you unless you bestow upon them that power.
Doesn’t it sting, a bit, knowing that all the pain and all the suffering you ever caused yourself was self-inflicted? Of course, you’re causing that sting, too. Maybe you had to experience the pain and suffering to get to where you are today.
If someone gives you a gift of their anger, you don’t have to accept it. They can keep it. And they will own it, not you.
The email I never sent, The letter I never delivered
Hi,
Although I am very good at hiding my feelings on my beautiful and kind smile, I basically do not find a reason to continue doing it. I was sure at some point I would not be able to keep controlling myself, and therefore, this letter/email (I have not decided if I will email it or print it) would be written and delivered.
First of all, I apologize completely because I know I have been a pain in the ass during the last week. You’ve been working as crazy, and I’ve been just bothering you with stupid questions such as the email about the post it notes. Sorry, I compromise to be as professional as someone can, thus do not talk or even suggest in any way something about what happened in the past.
Secondly, as per “pen discussion” I was just having fun, but clearly, you did not. So, I’ve decide to avoid any kind of poke with you, since I’ve seen you don’t enjoy it anymore. I would had appreciated you would have told me this in a more conciliatory and nicer way. However, I’ll take it as it was.
Thirdly, you being an asshole when talking about black material, throwing me a pen, avoiding me when I tried to apologize have showed me WE -apparently-are not ready for any kind of friend/coworkers relation. I respect and admire you way too much Idiot*, and all these stupid situations are making me change the way I see you. As I think you are an amazing person/worker/friend/man and I would rather remember you like that, instead of as an asshole that make me feel as piece of shit, I think I better try to keep away from you. I will do my best to even avoid getting initials or any kind of stuff I could need at work from you. I know it’s not so hard… I did it pretty well for the first 6 months of the year, when used to hated you: P
In addition, I would really appreciate if you control your insanity and changes of moods. I know pretty well that you aren’t an easy person to deal, and I also know that you’re not the friendliest person in the world at work, but may be because I trust you, I expect more from you. I expect that at least you respect me as much as I do to you. Sometimes, I feel you treat me even worse than you do with everyone else. I could blame to the fact that well, in some way, you feel more confident being yourself with me (because I already (kinda) know you better than others, but just so you know, it hurts. It really hurts me to see how you threw me a pen. It hurts when you just say “really?” when I’ve asked you a stupid question from work (if I am asking you it’s because I don’t know the answer, but apparently you see it as I am idiot, and not as I’m interested in learning). It hurts when I see how you are able to take 1 min to say good bye to others while you weren’t able to take 10 sec to accept my apologize. It hurts to see you avoiding me even as a friend. It hurts that you don’t allow me to even touch your arm as part of a joke while others such as ***or ****** even hug me once in a while (Am I such as repulsive person for you?? Believe me I have wondered this many times).It hurts to see how random people such as ****, *****,***** realize and care about how I am, while you just behave as a completely stranger. All these small details hurt that much, that they are making my life miserable at work. Although I can look confident, happy, and easy going, I am not, and all these situations are making me feel worse.
It’s sadly to say, but as you told me once, you don’t know me as much as I think. Actually, let me tell you that you have no idea about who I am. You have no idea how I am by inside. You have no idea how smart I can be, or how many things I can detail in just seconds. You have no idea how much pain you have made me feel, and how strong I am, to be able to keep my head up after everything.
I never told you because my pride would not allow me, but do you think I gave you that dinner voucher note as an impulsive moment? NO. I ALWAYS overanalyzed my acts, and just if I am sure it worth, I act. I did like you since long time ago (probably before you started liking me. Actually I think the main reason to hate you was that I liked you and I didn’t think I would have be able to make you look at me), but I did not do anything, instead I decided to think that I hate you to convince myself you didn’t worth my attention.
This previous statement may help you to understand how much pain you caused me when you decided to tell me something like “HR said no, and I won’t see you anymore because of it”. What I most hate after all the sad days in September is the fact that I can’t hate you. Somehow I CAN’T -weird, hating it’s normally my defense mechanic every time I feel disappointed, sad, and hurt-but with you, I just can’t, in fact it’s not I can’t, it’s I don’t WANT. And I don’t want because every single day I have to coexist with the fact of how good you are at your work, how smart you are to solve a freaking sudoku and crossword in 30 min break (It takes me at least 2 hours in Spanish, not even think to do it in English, and yeah, I am weirdo and creepy, I always check the crosswords you have done during break, thus, I learn new words) or how welcome you are to help.
Therefore, I don’t pretend you know me better for what I have written, but I pretend you to make you understand how I feel about you treating me as you’ve been doing since ending of August. I do not pretend you to make you change it because I consider you have reasons to do it so, but I wanted to make you see my perspective and make understand why I told you once “I’ve been thinking on applying in different branches” I need ASAP to do not deal with you. I love our branch, and the people there, but I pray every night to be able to go somewhere else to do not have to see you every day.
My mom told me that I have to be strong and do not forget who I am, and all I have gone through. And, that’s what I’ve been doing it, but it’s been harder than I thought. Hopefully time goes by faster, and me getting a new job or you leaving on Dec 31th -whichever comes first- it’s going to help.
*Avoiding to use real names.
I wrote this on a very sad day when I realized you took away the notes I gave you. Oh yeah, I knew they were there. And I posted it today, because I don't care anymore -at least that's what I try-
Although I am very good at hiding my feelings on my beautiful and kind smile, I basically do not find a reason to continue doing it. I was sure at some point I would not be able to keep controlling myself, and therefore, this letter/email (I have not decided if I will email it or print it) would be written and delivered.
First of all, I apologize completely because I know I have been a pain in the ass during the last week. You’ve been working as crazy, and I’ve been just bothering you with stupid questions such as the email about the post it notes. Sorry, I compromise to be as professional as someone can, thus do not talk or even suggest in any way something about what happened in the past.
Secondly, as per “pen discussion” I was just having fun, but clearly, you did not. So, I’ve decide to avoid any kind of poke with you, since I’ve seen you don’t enjoy it anymore. I would had appreciated you would have told me this in a more conciliatory and nicer way. However, I’ll take it as it was.
Thirdly, you being an asshole when talking about black material, throwing me a pen, avoiding me when I tried to apologize have showed me WE -apparently-are not ready for any kind of friend/coworkers relation. I respect and admire you way too much Idiot*, and all these stupid situations are making me change the way I see you. As I think you are an amazing person/worker/friend/man and I would rather remember you like that, instead of as an asshole that make me feel as piece of shit, I think I better try to keep away from you. I will do my best to even avoid getting initials or any kind of stuff I could need at work from you. I know it’s not so hard… I did it pretty well for the first 6 months of the year, when used to hated you: P
In addition, I would really appreciate if you control your insanity and changes of moods. I know pretty well that you aren’t an easy person to deal, and I also know that you’re not the friendliest person in the world at work, but may be because I trust you, I expect more from you. I expect that at least you respect me as much as I do to you. Sometimes, I feel you treat me even worse than you do with everyone else. I could blame to the fact that well, in some way, you feel more confident being yourself with me (because I already (kinda) know you better than others, but just so you know, it hurts. It really hurts me to see how you threw me a pen. It hurts when you just say “really?” when I’ve asked you a stupid question from work (if I am asking you it’s because I don’t know the answer, but apparently you see it as I am idiot, and not as I’m interested in learning). It hurts when I see how you are able to take 1 min to say good bye to others while you weren’t able to take 10 sec to accept my apologize. It hurts to see you avoiding me even as a friend. It hurts that you don’t allow me to even touch your arm as part of a joke while others such as ***or ****** even hug me once in a while (Am I such as repulsive person for you?? Believe me I have wondered this many times).It hurts to see how random people such as ****, *****,***** realize and care about how I am, while you just behave as a completely stranger. All these small details hurt that much, that they are making my life miserable at work. Although I can look confident, happy, and easy going, I am not, and all these situations are making me feel worse.
It’s sadly to say, but as you told me once, you don’t know me as much as I think. Actually, let me tell you that you have no idea about who I am. You have no idea how I am by inside. You have no idea how smart I can be, or how many things I can detail in just seconds. You have no idea how much pain you have made me feel, and how strong I am, to be able to keep my head up after everything.
I never told you because my pride would not allow me, but do you think I gave you that dinner voucher note as an impulsive moment? NO. I ALWAYS overanalyzed my acts, and just if I am sure it worth, I act. I did like you since long time ago (probably before you started liking me. Actually I think the main reason to hate you was that I liked you and I didn’t think I would have be able to make you look at me), but I did not do anything, instead I decided to think that I hate you to convince myself you didn’t worth my attention.
This previous statement may help you to understand how much pain you caused me when you decided to tell me something like “HR said no, and I won’t see you anymore because of it”. What I most hate after all the sad days in September is the fact that I can’t hate you. Somehow I CAN’T -weird, hating it’s normally my defense mechanic every time I feel disappointed, sad, and hurt-but with you, I just can’t, in fact it’s not I can’t, it’s I don’t WANT. And I don’t want because every single day I have to coexist with the fact of how good you are at your work, how smart you are to solve a freaking sudoku and crossword in 30 min break (It takes me at least 2 hours in Spanish, not even think to do it in English, and yeah, I am weirdo and creepy, I always check the crosswords you have done during break, thus, I learn new words) or how welcome you are to help.
Therefore, I don’t pretend you know me better for what I have written, but I pretend you to make you understand how I feel about you treating me as you’ve been doing since ending of August. I do not pretend you to make you change it because I consider you have reasons to do it so, but I wanted to make you see my perspective and make understand why I told you once “I’ve been thinking on applying in different branches” I need ASAP to do not deal with you. I love our branch, and the people there, but I pray every night to be able to go somewhere else to do not have to see you every day.
My mom told me that I have to be strong and do not forget who I am, and all I have gone through. And, that’s what I’ve been doing it, but it’s been harder than I thought. Hopefully time goes by faster, and me getting a new job or you leaving on Dec 31th -whichever comes first- it’s going to help.
*Avoiding to use real names.
I wrote this on a very sad day when I realized you took away the notes I gave you. Oh yeah, I knew they were there. And I posted it today, because I don't care anymore -at least that's what I try-
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